His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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