I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Define "chronic" masturbator.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize