what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sobbing to NWA
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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