Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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