I feel great
I just peed on a car
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
