so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
