Just mADE A PArabola og urine
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
