Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
