I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
