My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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