therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
