wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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