Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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