What a fucking waste of an outfit
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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