Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
