You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
