He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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