I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
