Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
