im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
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I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
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First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.