yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.