Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue