She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
