Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
