And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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