Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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