elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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