have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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