I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
