I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
