Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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