Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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