Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
one two three fourrrrnication!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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