I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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