does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
