a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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