I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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