I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
