Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize