I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How external is "for external use only"?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
