with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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