I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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