"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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