I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
