it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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