I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
