Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
