it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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