...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
