I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
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And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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