I need help removing her.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
