Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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