so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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