Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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