His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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