Banned from zoo.
Again?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize