and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
