I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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