You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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