i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
