so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
