wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
