More tranny stories later!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
