look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
