he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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